Thursday, February 3, 2011

Tail... Er, Tale of a Survivor

There is a lot of dark news right now: the unrest in Egypt and elsewhere, typhoon in Australia, much of the United States buried under snow. For many, today isn't about getting ahead or making plans for the future. It's a battle to simply survive. Ofttimes that's where we come in, providing reassurance to our insureds that should the unfortunate strike they will not have to attempt recovery alone. We can't do everything, of course. Some things folk have to do on their own.

Consider this moo-ving... uh, moving tail... er, tale of a true survivor.

In January of 2006, a young woman faced execution although she had committed no crime. Pleas of innocence were ignored as her captors led her to her fate. However, this resourceful individual had other plans than going gentle into that good night.

Or at the least, winding up on the menu at Wendy's.

The woman in question was a 1,200 heifer at a meat processing facility -- in other words, a slaughterhouse -- in Montana. Yearning to breathe free as opposed to becoming the one-time only guest at a barbecue, the resourceful cow decided it was time to lay to rest the notion that bovines were nonathletic creatures. And save her own hide (literally) in the process.


She jumped, not over the moon, but over something thought equally impossible for a cow: a 5 1/2 foot tall fence.

That was only the start of the cow's adventures. Danger followed her every step as she ran through town -- well, as much as a cow can run -- with the local police and animal control people hot on her hooves. She dodged a determined German Shepherd who had no doubt never seen a walking T-bone steak before, deftly avoiding being turned into a hood ornament by an SUV, and wound her way through a railroad yard. In a final dash of Old West desperado, she swam across the Missouri River. It took not the usual one, but three tranquilizer darts before the heroic heifer finally let them take her alive.

The meat processing facility were so impressed with her spirit, not to mention having no desire to go through this all over again, they granted her a pardon and named her Molly B in honor of the unsinkable Molly Brown. As sending her back to the herd was nixed due to fears she'd start teaching the other cows extreme survival skills, Molly B was sent off to live at an animal reserve.

Sadly, it fell on hard times, forcing the local animal control people to euthanize many of the animals living there. But not Molly. Although suffering from a sore hoof, she was not one to let this get in her way. A new animal reserve was found, and a few days ago Molly was moved to her new digs where she has no doubt already established herself as the alpha cow.

Molly B, we salute you. With a veggie burger.

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