My Boss is Having a Baby!

My boss is having a baby any day now. She’ll be at work today, which brings up all kinds of thoughts about whether assisting with the birth comes under “perform other duties as specified.” Then again, she is currently writing my job description, so maybe it’s in there.

Anyway, today is her last day before going out on maternity leave. Given her oft-demonstrated penchant for the workaholic side of things, I wouldn’t be all that surprised to receive an e-mail later this week informing me that she’ll read my monthly report in-between contractions. This, as the doctor is trying to pry the iPhone out of her hands as she’s being wheeled into the delivery room.

She’s going to have a girl, something about which she is quite pleased as it will at least partially balance her house, presently occupied by her husband, their son (twenty months old, as I recall) and two dogs, both boys. Or, as she refers to the assembled throng of Y chromosomes, her four children.

Her firefighter husband is reportedly having a fair amount of difficulty adjusting to the notion of having a little girl in the house, thus was delighted to see one of the gifts I gave my boss at her baby shower was a teal San Jose Sharks outfit. (Hey, gotta make sure she’s raised right.) I also gave her a Disney Princess sleeper, for while I am a guy, I’m not that dense. Once in a while.

Anyway, I’m currently running a betting pool as to what month it’ll be when daughter has Daddy wrapped around her little finger, official signal being when he’s the one sheepishly standing in line with her at the Princess Faire in Disneyland. I am reminded of the scene I saw at Auto Club Speedway in southern California a few years ago when NASCAR was in town, as a steady stream of moustached macho men in their leather jackets and tattoos tried their best to slink through the souvenir trailers unnoticed, their pink-clad daughters clutching with one hand Daddy’s while the other firmly grasped their Jeff Gordon or one of the other driver’s stuffed animals freshly purchased at the Build-A-Bear mobile location.

Speaking of the baby shower, I was quite relieved when others offered to throw it as for a while it looked like I was going to have to serve as party planner. Can you imagine a baby shower planned by a Raiders fan? It’d consist of handing the mother-to-be a box of diapers with a bow on it. And you know they’d be the wrong size. That, and do you know how hard it is to find shoulder pads with spikes in infant size?

I’m glad my boss is having a baby. Not that I’m trying to get her out of the office for a few weeks; she’s terrific (and stop calling me a suck-up). Rather, it’s seeing the “once I get this pregnancy over with it’ll be so worth it” look on her face, along with hearing it in her voice. Also, there is one personal note of joy in all this. I’ve said way too many goodbyes lately. It’ll be good to say hello.

Welcome, little one.