San Francisco Bay Area faces dire threat from global warming...

... that is, if you consider snow a sign of global warming.

Yes, the weather forecast for the San Francisco Bay Area calls for snow this weekend, and not just at the higher elevations. It is expected to reach down to sea level. Which doesn't happen very often.

Given the rare nature of such an event, suffice it to say the natives are ill-prepared for such an occurrence. Those of us who have lived elsewhere at some point in time and will consider whatever snow accumulates to be little more than a dusting will try to keep a straight face at those who consider the sighting of a single flake a sure sign of Snowmageddon. Like Armageddon, but chillier.

Anyway, as a public service we at CSE are providing the following helpful hints should it in fact snow out here. And stick around for more than five minutes.

1. Tempting though it may be, do not plan on being able to grab your skis or snowboard and head toward Lombard St. San Francisco's finest take a dim view of slaloming down public thoroughfares.
2. Free-form figure skating is great fun. But not while you're driving. If the area does get snow, and especially ice, if at all possible stay off the road until it thaws.
3. Cover your plants and pets. But not with each other.
4. Speaking of pets, Fido and Fluffy are going to be one cranky puppy and kitty if left outside when the white stuff arrives. Not to mention it's not safe for them.
5. There will likely be a call to conserve energy if everyone has their heater going full blast. Do so. There's no shame in throwing on an extra sweater or sweatshirt. However, avoid wearing snowshoes inside the house, especially if you have shag carpeting. (Does anyone still have shag carpeting?)
6. No matter how awesome the waves may be from the storm, this will not be a good weekend to go surfing. Trust us on this.
7. Expect zero sympathy from your relatives back East when either you call them to complain about the weather, or they call you for the sole purpose of laughing hysterically.

Be safe and enjoy the snow, if in fact it does snow. While if there's enough of it there will be inconveniences, it still beats the San Andreas fault having a temper tantrum by a mile.

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