Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Insuring Star Wars Day

Today is Star Wars Day, this stemming from a play on "may the force be with you" being changed into "May the fourth be with you." Either that, or it was invented by someone who started celebrating Cinco de Mayo a little early. In either case, it's Star Wars Day.

There are few films more deeply ingrained in the pop culture psyche than Star Wars. Granted, it's "only" the fourth highest grossing film of all time in the United States and not even in the top ten worldwide, although Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace is fourth highest. Yet its place is far, far higher than films that have earned more money, such as Titanic. No matter how many times you watch it, the boat sinks. Star Wars? A whole lot more at play, especially when the small fry espy one of the multitude of Star Wars Lego sets currently available.

Given how Star Wars features a whole lot of people and places either blowing up, ending up at the wrong end of a blaster or getting sliced and diced by light sabers, the natural temptation is to think insurance is probably the last thing on the minds of assorted humans, aliens, Wookies, robots and whatever Yoda is. Ah, but you'd be surprised. Our intrepid team of researchers has uncovered some actual correspondence samples from an insurance agency a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

To: Luke Skywalker


Thank you for updating your claim about damage to your X-Wing Fighter. While we were at first reluctant to accept this claim due to you, by your own admission, parking your vehicle in an unsafe area to hereafter be referred to as "the swamp," we now understand your vehicle has been moved to a safer location. However, we must caution you that the moving company used, one "Yoda," is not authorized by our firm and you will have to pay any damages resulting from the move yourself. Also, please be aware that "the force" is not an approved method for vehicle relocation. Going forward, please call one of our authorized tow services.

To: Darth Vader


We are denying your claim for damages to your vehicle, hereafter referred to as "death star." While we understand the vehicle is a total loss, and can appreciate the hardships this may present, our adjuster informs us that a known design flaw was present in the vehicle and was not properly addressed. In the future, please ensure all vehicles in your possession are both properly designed and equipped with current safety devices, as you being the sole survivor of the accident can hardly be described as an acceptable risk.

To: Princess Leia


Please find enclosed a check for $417.38 to cover the after-deductible cost of garment repair due to, as stated on the claim, "Wookie hair removal." While we are happy to settle this claim on your behalf, we advise you to invest in some form of less easily shed-upon material.

To: Han Solo


Thank you for your recent inquiry. We regret to inform you that we do not presently offer insurance for high-risk individuals such as smugglers. Should you ever change professions into something more pastoral, such as entering into a personal relationship with a princess or searching for archeological treasure, please contact us as we will be more than happy to put together a policy that meets your needs.

To: George Lucas


Jar Jar Binks? Really?!!

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